September 11, What is marraige
For the next few days I want to talk about marriage. What is marriage? According to Webster:
Marriage - the state in which a man and a woman are formally united for the purpose of living together with certain legal rights and obligations to each other.
At least Webster got the part of a man and a woman right. I hope my marriage is about more than just living with a woman. I could leave Debbie today, find some poor desolate woman and move in with her. Does that really mean were married?
Just called Deb and asked for her opinion of marriage. Today, I want to share with you what my baby doll said it was like being married to me for 28 years thus far. Please understand these are the exact words she used in the exact order:
1. Interesting - never a dull moment in the Herman household (A-men)
2. Frustrating - being married to Dean Herman can bring about a lot of frustration
Wondered for a second why Deb would rank this one so high. I only took a second as I reflected on the 30
plus years (dating included) together. To be honest, I'm shocked she still here with all I've put her through.
3. Security - Deb (as all women) enjoys knowing she has a man that will support and protect and her family.
I once asked Deb what was the one thing she truly enjoyed about our marriage. She thought for a second,
and responded with the word "security." I was almost hurt. But, I've come to realize that is a major need for
all women and now feel honored that I fulfill that need for her.
4. Book - Deb claims she could write a book and make us a lot of money. A new chapter every day.
5. Very fulfilling
6. Incredible sex - OK, she didn't say that. I just added it. She was just too embarrassed to say it!
Deb and I have an awesome marriage, but its not because we live together. Its because we have given our marriage over to the King. Our marriage belongs to Jesus Christ. Because of the curse (found in Genesis 3 and discussed last Sunday) every woman needs love and every man needs respect.
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As a couple, when you begin understanding and meeting each others needs (such as love and respect) marriage can be awesome. But, if you continue to focus completely on self, your never gonna make it.
Tomorrow I want to share my top three needs and Deb's top three needs and how we go about meeting those needs. Please understand, I nor Deb claim to have a perfect marriage. But after 28 years, 3 children, over a dozen moves, career change, death of Deb's Dad and both of my parents, I think we have some practical advice we could share with a lot of couples that might help you from making so many of the same mistakes.
Marriage - the state in which a man and a woman are formally united for the purpose of living together with certain legal rights and obligations to each other.
At least Webster got the part of a man and a woman right. I hope my marriage is about more than just living with a woman. I could leave Debbie today, find some poor desolate woman and move in with her. Does that really mean were married?
Just called Deb and asked for her opinion of marriage. Today, I want to share with you what my baby doll said it was like being married to me for 28 years thus far. Please understand these are the exact words she used in the exact order:
1. Interesting - never a dull moment in the Herman household (A-men)
2. Frustrating - being married to Dean Herman can bring about a lot of frustration
Wondered for a second why Deb would rank this one so high. I only took a second as I reflected on the 30
plus years (dating included) together. To be honest, I'm shocked she still here with all I've put her through.
3. Security - Deb (as all women) enjoys knowing she has a man that will support and protect and her family.
I once asked Deb what was the one thing she truly enjoyed about our marriage. She thought for a second,
and responded with the word "security." I was almost hurt. But, I've come to realize that is a major need for
all women and now feel honored that I fulfill that need for her.
4. Book - Deb claims she could write a book and make us a lot of money. A new chapter every day.
5. Very fulfilling
6. Incredible sex - OK, she didn't say that. I just added it. She was just too embarrassed to say it!
Deb and I have an awesome marriage, but its not because we live together. Its because we have given our marriage over to the King. Our marriage belongs to Jesus Christ. Because of the curse (found in Genesis 3 and discussed last Sunday) every woman needs love and every man needs respect.
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As a couple, when you begin understanding and meeting each others needs (such as love and respect) marriage can be awesome. But, if you continue to focus completely on self, your never gonna make it.
Tomorrow I want to share my top three needs and Deb's top three needs and how we go about meeting those needs. Please understand, I nor Deb claim to have a perfect marriage. But after 28 years, 3 children, over a dozen moves, career change, death of Deb's Dad and both of my parents, I think we have some practical advice we could share with a lot of couples that might help you from making so many of the same mistakes.
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